Strike One for Joker
by staticmonk
Summary: Batman treats the Joker with no respect, and he's sick of it! What's a clown to do but go on strike?


Joker was sitting at the kitchen table.

It was much past Dinner Time, and his Henchmen still hadn't shown up to cater to his every whim.

Sighing emotionally, he flicked his knife across the table, watching the cheap silverware fall to the ground.

As the insane man bent down to pick it up, he thought he heard the sound of the door open.

Who could it be? The IRS? Harley? A police with a warrant?

Grabbing his knife, he made his way to the front door.

A stocky man smothered in make up stood in the doorway.

"Your late," The Joker muttered, tossing his silverware over his shoulder.

"Sorry Boss," the henchman apologized, coming inside.

Joker slammed the door shut, glaring at his henchman. "Well it's now too late to cook anything. I'll have to order pizza, and you know how hard it is to a disguise a voice like this,"

The henchman said sorry again, following Joker into the kitchen.

"There is a reason I was late, though..."

The Joker stopped walking, causing the henchman to bump into him.

"What reason?" He growled.

"It was Batman again."

"Again?!" Joker cried.

"Yup." The henchman nodded. "He ran into me, and wouldn't stop questioning me. He also made me lose the groceries. He just started poundin' on me, all because I forgot to pay for the groceries!"

The Joker clenched his fists in rage.

"It's always that Batman! He doesn't even treat us like the other bad guys!

He actuallyTHREATENS to put them in Arkham. What about us? He just pushes us around like his Robins!" He whined, burying his face into his hands.

Suddenly, he lifted his head, a large and not-so-normal grin spread across his face.

"That's it! I've got it!"

Joker laughed, dancing in circles.

"Got...what?" The henchman asked nervously.

"Don't you see?!" The clown laughed. "The only way to get Batsy's respect and to be recognized as villains again is to go on STRIKE!"

The henchman rubbed his chin in thought. "Uh...will that make him more mad?"

"No, no, NO! You don't understand!" The Joker cried, waving his hands in the air.

"Batman will be bored out of his mind with no crazy clown like me running around! He'll be BEGGING me to start up crime again! We'll be treated like villains again!"

The clown burst into laughter, making his henchman uncomfortable.

What were they getting themselves into?

The next day, The Joker and his henchman were outside near The Batmobile, painting Pickett-signs so they could strike against their biggest nemesis and bestest friend, Batman.

"Are you almost done, henchie?" The Joker asked, splattering his sign with red paint.

"Like this, boss?" The henchman held up a Pickett Fence shaped design.

"NO!" Joker growled, snatching the mans sign and snapping it in two over his knee.

"Like this, Batman is Unfair, short sweet and to the point," the clown proudly held up his sign.

"Ohh, I got it!" The henchman said, finishing a new sign. It read, Batman's Fun Fair.

Just before Joker could light the sign on fire, an innocent bystander approached the two wanted criminals.

"Hey, where's the Fun Fair? I could go for some fun!"

The henchman pointed towards the Batmobile, where Batman was standing.

"Over by Batman!"

The bystander called out, "Hey everybody, Batman has a Fun Fair!"

Instantly a large crowd ran forward, trampling The Joker. As the dust clouds cleared, the henchman saw Joker spread out across the pavement, shoe-marks imprinted all over his skin and outfit.

"No one cares about the fate of the laborers as long as they get their instant gratification,"

The scary clown man sighed, slowly rising to his feet.

"Lucky for you, I have an even better idea!"

The henchman watched in awe as The Joker revealed a large purple megaphone from behind his back.

Clearing his throat, he switched the megaphone on.

"PEOPLE OF GOTHAM!" He shouted. "YOU HAVE BEEN CHEATED AND LIED TO!"

"I knew it!" Babydoll shrieked, slapping Killer Croc across the face with her doll.

Joker giggled before continuing, "BATMAN HAS YOU ALL FOOLED! HE'S THE CRIMINAL, AND BECAUSE OF THIS, I WILL DISMANTLE THE BATCAVE, WHEREVER IT MAY BE, BOARD BY BOARD!"

The crowd was getting larger as Joker continued to rant.

"WE WILL SAW HIS BATMOBILE IN HALF! AND GNAW AT THE FOUNDATION OF ITS TIRES! WE WILL-"

Before Joker could continue, the same man came running out in front of the crowd.

"Hey everyone, Superman joined the Fun Fair!"

The crowd cheered and ran forward, once again trampling The Joker and pressing him into the pavement.

"That was great, Boss," the henchman smiled. "You practically had them at the will of your hands!"

Joker narrowed his eyes as Batman came forward.

"But they weren't, were they, Joker?" The caped crusader stated. "You should have gone on strike earlier. Without you doing crime, the people of Gotham are safe."

The Joker laughed. "HAH! I don't believe a word of that. Your dying of boredom without me causing havoc. Maybe if you beg really hard I might consider coming back."

Batman frowned even more than usual. "Why don't you go back to your therapists, Joker. No one will ever want you on Gotham's streets."

The henchman angrily stepped forward.

"Maybe you can take my groceries, and maybe you can treat us with no respect, but he is a good leader! And we are going to saw your Batmobile in half! Gnaw at its tires! And the-uh-Boss, what was that last part again?"

"Dismantle the Batcave."

"AND THAT TOO!" The henchman cried, pointing a finger at Batman. "And I'm going to be on strike with my Boss until we are respected as villains, even if it takes forever!"

The Joker gulped, his eyes widening, and forever echoing throughout his mind.

As he went home, he thought of being on strike with his henchman forever.

And when he took a shower.

And brushed his teeth.

And put on his pajamas.

And got into bed.

"On strike with my henchman...forever!" He gripped his blankets tightly as he widened his blood-shot eyes.

The Joker nearly jumped as his doorbell rang. Still in his pajamas, he ran to the front door.

He couldn't believe who it was as he opened it.

"Batman?" He cried.

"Oh, uh, Joker...I was just in the neighborhood...and..." Batman stuttered, looking left and right.

"You need to take up crime again!" Batman fell to his knees, pleading.

"The other bad guys are trying to fill your shoes, and they won't leave me alone!"

Behind Batman was The Riddler, The Mad Hatter, and Scarecrow, giving a thumbs up and grinning.

"Joker, I'm begging you! Do what you do best! No one does it like you do!" He returned to his feet, yet still pleading with the clown.

Jokers smile grew into a crazy grin. "I'm glad you see it my way, Batsy!" He laughed, playfully shoving his elbow into Batmans side.

"Let's discuss things on my terms,"

Batman sighed as they walked outside. "I've got a bad feeling about my secret identity..."

Meanwhile, the henchman was standing by the Batmobile, listening to strike music.

"Boy, being on strike with The Boss sure is a shoot!"

He imitated a gun with his finger.

"His words are still buzzing around in my head like an angry chain saw!"

The henchman let his gaze drift over to the Batmobile. He smiled. He knew just how to make his Boss proud!

"I will saw the Batmobile, in half!" He cried, picking up a saw and cutting into the highly expensive automobile.

He then dropped down to the tires and started to chew at them with his teeth.

"Gnaw at its tires! The Boss will be so proud!" He grinned, swallowing the last of the rubber.

As the henchman mauled the Batmobile, Batman and The Joker headed in that direction!

"I'm glad you saw it MY way, Batman," Joker laughed, flipping through a very large stack of cash.

"Even though I can't get you to tell me your true alias, I suppose this will settle for a consolation prize,"

The clown chuckled, stuffing it into his pockets.

"I thought it might," Batman sighed. "Well, I better start up the Batmobile for patrol." Batman took out his keys. Closing his eyes, he began to hum a song that sounded vaguely familiar to the Batman: The Animated Series theme song as he made his way towards his vehicle.

As The Joker saw the destruction, his eyes popped out of his head. He was supposed to do the demolishing! This was too soon. He didn't even come up with a joke yet!

He ran towards his henchman, who was grinning like The Joker.

"H-henchman...w-what have you done?!" He shrieked.

"I did what you said to do, Boss..."

The Joker watched in horror as Batman put the key where the door would have been and sat down in the front seat -the only thing left of the Batmobile.

Batman slowly opened his eyes. As soon as everything had sunken in, he slowly turned his head to face the clowns.

"Henchmaaaan...Jokerrrr..."

"Yes Batman?"'the criminals said in unison. "Here it comes!" The henchman grinned.

"To make sure this never happens again...you two are going to Arkham...FOREVER!

"I told you the plan would work, Boss!"

The henchman exclaimed joyfully in the Rec Room of Arkham.

Joker sighed, tapping his fingers on the arm rest of the sofa. Maybe his greatest idea wasn't such a great idea. The Arkham Inmates had not stopped laughing about it all week.

"We should go on strike again, you know, after the Arkham eternity thing."

Joker slid his cold gaze towards his henchman.

"Why I ought to strike you out-"

He must have spoken loud enough for the guard to hear. "What did you say, Joker."

Joker grinned nervously, shrugging.

"Just...talking about the baseball season!" He chuckled before the guard turned away.

"I don't get paid enough for this," the guard mumbled. "Maybe I should go on strike..."


End file.
